no angel

There’s this thing that happens when you tell people that you have a chronically sick kid. They stop looking at you as the woman in the second hand clothes with unwashed bad hair. Suddenly, you become this angelic martyr worthy of being placed upon a golden pedestal. People tiptoe around you as though you are somehow  fragile as a flower - to be coddled and admired. Well, it sucks. And it’s hard to say so, because people only mean the best by it. You see, it’s easy to feel guilty when we don’t live up to the impression that the world has of us. Sometimes our “miracle babies” act like little shits – so we yell at them. Then, not only are we “bad moms”, but we further are not appreciating this amazing gift for which we’ve struggled so hard. And the really ironic thing is, these times so often coincide with the huge medical news/issues/procedures. Now is one of those times for a friend of mine. Her daughter’s going through another really rough patch. No, I take that back. Annika isn’t going through another one. The fact is, lately, the crap just doesn’t seem to end so much as build up. And Moreena's such a kind, smart, funny, and yes – human- woman who’s given me strength when I honestly had no reserves left. I just want to lift her up and give her a huge hug. Yesterday, she wrote this post, but closed the comments. Frankly, I don’t blame her. Sometimes you just need to get it off your chest without everyone lending their glib reassurances. But, if people could just send a little strength her way, it’d probably make a difference…of some sort. So if you pray – pray. If you just love – love. Everything helps. Really it does.

Comments

[Shelli]

Thank you for telling me. I somehow lost track of Annika over time.

[moreena]

Thank you, Rowan. Your words mean so much to me. Thank you.

[Lynda]

I sometimes feel that way when I talk about my sister, and people tell me they are so sorry. Sometimes I just want to talk. Of course, she isn't ill anymore, but I can see where Moreena is coming from regarding the glib reassurances.

And hey, if you yell at your kids, it doesn't make you a bad mom. If they were well, you would have to do the same thing. I don't see as not appreicating the gift. Imagine how they would be when they become adults and find the world doesn't treat them any differently. Huge letdown, I am sure.

Sorry. Biggest ramble ever.